When we were dating, DH used to laugh at me all the time. He thought it was so cute that I did this. I would curl up in his arms against his chest and I would subconsciously sigh. It was a happy little sigh, and I wouldn't even realize I had done it.
I haven't sighed like that in a long time. It's different now. When I curl up in DH's arms, instead of feeling euphoric, I feel like I'm hanging on for dear life. I feel like a storm is raging and he's my little bit of shelter. I have to cling to him for everything that I am, or risk being lost forever.
I think it hurts DH's feelings that I don't sigh anymore. I think he blames my sadness and my depression on himself, or at least feel like he should fix everything for me. It's not that easy though.
Hopefully one day soon I'll sigh again. Until then, I'll continue to hide from life in his arms... even if it is just for a little while until I have to face it all again.
*hugs* it is weird how similar we are right now! x
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