I've been trying to get pregnant since last September. Since March, I've been using OPKs and trying to time sex correctly with my cycle. One of my coworkers, who knows I'm trying, just now stopped preventing pregnancy. She wasn't trying, but she's at a point in her life where she wouldn't mind if she did get pregnant. And what do you know, but the very first month, she's pregnant. Of course I'm happy for her, but she said that thing anyone who is TTC hates: "Just stop trying."
Okay, what does that even mean? I wanted to say this: "Okay, sure, I'm willing to give it a try, but I don't think it will work. I'm pretty sure you actually have to have sex in order to get pregnant." What do you think I'm doing, using a plunger on my vagina after sex? (Hey, maybe that would work... the idea is to get the sperm to your fallopian tubes where the egg is, right? Maybe the plunger would shove them up there. :-P)
And then later, another coworker walks up to me and pokes my stomach. "How's this going?" Okay, first off: personal space. I told her there's nothing in there just yet. I think to myself, "Please stop here." She doesn't. "You don't want kids yet, you're too young."
I'm 23. Sure, I'm not going gray or checking out nursing homes, but I wouldn't exactly be a "young mom" either. I want a lot of kids. I don't want to have them back to back, and twins don't run in my family. If I start right now, at 23, and have one every 2 years until I have 4, I'd be 31. Starting to get a little old for having a baby, huh? (A woman is most fertile between the ages of 18 and 26. If getting pregnant now at 23 is taking several months, just imagine trying at 31.) If I just wanted one, sure, I'm young. But I don't... I want a bunch of kids, at least 4, maybe more. You don't know me, so just keep your advice to yourself. I appreciate that you don't want kids, but that's you.
If you want to give me nice advice, I'm all for it. If you think doggie style is more effective than missionary, let me hear it. If pomegranate juice will make my uterus more comfy for the egg, I want to know. But if you think I should stop trying or I'm too young, save it.
So here's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow is when I should ovulate, and I'm off work. (Yay!) DH and I haven't had sex since Sunday (saving up the boys, you know... ;-)) so I'm going to make a nice romantic dinner for us. Then we'll probably watch a romantic movie (The Notebook, perhaps, that always makes me horny.). There are going to be candles and roses and my husband in a suit and tie and me in a dress. It's going to be very nice. And then, we're going to try to make a baby.
Just don't tell my co-workers, they wouldn't approve.
Even when NTNP, you're still trying. There's really no such thing as NOT trying. That's not to say that it isn't possible to prefer TTC at a certain time and "if it happens it happens" until then, but telling someone to stop trying...yeah, not so much.
ReplyDelete