Have you ever had a panic attack so bad that you hallucinate? So bad that you beg your husband for more drugs... Even though you already overdosed behind his back before he took them away? When nothing works and you're terrified and scared of everything. Afraid the man who would give his life for you is trying to poison you by putting something in your milk? Terrified beyond words that he's going to take you to a hospital, have them throw you in the psych ward, and run away from you while he has the chance?
So there I was in this situation last night, hiding from my own husband behind my bedroom door (he found me). My mom came. I slept, finally. Mom came back the next morning when DH left for work.
My mom took me to the doctor who put me on this new medicine. I reacted so badly... Change medication again, slightly better. Still feeling slightly drunk. It's hard to put coherent thoughts together. Off work for the next week at least... Then going part time. Big changes... I'm sick. Very sick. I've been sick awhile, but now it's uncontrollable without help. No trying for a baby this cycle... Fast acting anti anxiety meds are bad for babies. Hopefully by next cycle I'll be on new meds and more stable with working and everything.
Prayers and thoughts are appreciated!! Thanks all.
So sorry to hear you are going through this xx
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